The Most Smartest

MOVING: AN ELEGY

(ALSO, POLITICS)

Or should that be a eulogy? Because I am dead from moving, seriously. I don’t think my brain can take any more relocation so will be staying here on the couch (with computer on lap, tea in hand, and dog underfoot) until my brain and insides figure out their proper places again. Our books and furniture and other home stuff have no such issue with frequent movement — they have all settled down into their new places with hardly a creak of protest, nary a sigh of homesickness for western South Dakota. It’s probably the increased humidity.

We had a lovely succession of visitors. First the parents, who took charge and did things like change out our kitchen cabinet hinges, or build egress window covers, or bounce E on their knees until he was breathless with giggles. Then an old friend from college, who showed up with chocolate, smiles, and a much-needed glow of familiar camaraderie. Also a reminder that old friends are the best friends! (Sorry, new friends. You’re great. And I will find you eventually. STAY ALIVE.)

And finally I had a decent chat with my sister. Mostly we talked about the upcoming election and how much we despise The (Orange) Colour Out of Queens. After we hung up, I kept thinking about it. I realized that there’s nothing on earth that could make me vote for him. I mean, possibly if you threatened me with a loaded gun and I was having a great day, maybe I could be coerced. But barring that, if I look with my eyes and listen with my ears, and I compare what a person says with what they do, if I do these basic, human things we all do to assess the viability of my day-to-day interactions —

Yep. No way in hell I could ever vote for him. Hypothetical You Person can say that the sum of your experiences is different than mine, and that your experiences steer you toward him, but I say stop being a nihilist already. Get out of my face with your “oh he wasn’t really mocking the disabled reporter and even if he was you all need to get over it, disabled special snowflakes safe space blah blah your needs are different and therefore inconsequential to me, normal and thus allowable.” Shove your inability to read about his tax “plan” and who it SPELLS OUT THAT IT WILL BENEFIT up your easter egg trough. I am no Drew Magary and I don’t have any aspirations in that direction, but I respect his losing of shit for lack of any thought. Blunt or difficulty does not automatically equal truth. In this case, an asshole is being an asshole. If someone is an asshole to me, I do not think, Gosh, now that’s a straight shooter! Put him up for President! No. As is reasonable, I think, what an asshole. 

I continue to <3 you, Peter Serafinowicz.

 

BUT I HAVEN’T THOUGHT OF YOU LATELY AT ALL

Media! A. and I have been blessed at the new public library. I picked up a stack of books, which are sitting unread and lonely on my nightstand, as I also picked up a stack of movies and TV. Currently:

  • Hail, Caesar! We watched this already. Am experiencing feelings similar to those I had after my first viewing of Burn After Reading, so I plan to watch it again. Oh, and speaking of the Coen brothers:
  • Veronica Mars (Season 3). I recall Big Lebowski references in the previous seasons, but they are going all out this time. Note: not a bug.

 

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