Full Disclosure


Am reading Madeleine L’Engle’s Two-Part Invention. Have had to stop for the moment, as it’s hitting a little too close to home. But it is so, so good. Could Madeleine L’Engle exist today? All that deep thoughtfulness in a proliferation of tabs and social media accounts to track and assorted other distractions? I hope so, and I kind of doubt it. I love her writing so much.


Still house hunting. Our price point seems to draw in all the people who don’t like to clean for showings. Also saw a place where the big appliances (water heater, furnace, a/c, etc) were all squirreled away in a dirt-filled crawlspace, accessible only through storage space  and the master bedroom’s large and winding closet. A. was wearing E. in the baby carrier, so I crawled back there for a look. Am not going to post pics, but there was dirt on all sides, and tree roots bursting through that. I crept over the boards pressed into the dirt, down some cinder blocks set up as steps, and checked out the appliances. Something brushed my hair. I looked up to see a veritable cyclone of cobwebs wafting overhead. They funneled along the entire space like a canopy.

I managed to get out without having an arachnophobe freakout, but the next crawlspace is all A.’s.

We saw a lovely place yesterday and were chomping (champing? Damn you, Julia Louis-Dreyfus) at the bit to make an offer until we saw the teeny tiny yard, and the garage — shared with the nearest neighbor, a tall brick apartment building with sagging balconies and exterior walls that leaned inward. No work can be done on this garage with the agreement of all owning parties, which is why, when we poked our heads inside, daylight filtered down through the many holes and cracks in the melted shingles overhead.

Reading the disclosures was even more enlightening and hilarious: the current owners had a sewer backup. When the plumbing company investigated, they found that certain neighbors had tapped into the sewer line. The city intervened and all was apparently resolved, but ooh, ooh, ooh. There were a couple of other things, but I have to say that the deciding factor for stepping away was the certainty that this house would come with the Most Drama Llama Neighbors on the block. So we’re looking at some others today.


Taking a break from the baby to write this. He refused to eat for me this morning, but is able to work it out with Daddy. It’s nice to hear his squeals of delight, and nicer to hear them from here in the bedroom, where I am ensconced with tea and this computer and the internet. A. is keen to give me breaks these days, presumably because we both know when the fall semester gets started, he won’t have time to do that anymore. Can’t decide whether that is a good or bad thing. Not sure whether having a house to deal with will help or hinder, too — I’m starting to get used to our storage compartment.

We have got E. into the crib now. He sleeps on his belly. If he wakes up in the night, we lay him on the guest bed and stroke his back until he falls back asleep. Or one of us lays him on our chest, lay ourselves on the guest bed, and go to sleep until the other comes in as relief. Sometimes I just want to bring him in our bed, or let him sleep on the guest bed full-time. Imagine having the struggles of (and arguments for/against) cosleeping at 19 months! Graaagh. But he is sleeping better, even with the trains.

Break is over. (Everybody back on your heads.)


4 thoughts on “Full Disclosure

  1. Dude, do whatever works. I promise you he will not cosleep forever if you bring him in the big bed, and you all need sleep now. Eloise is still cosleeping at 17 months (and nursing to sleep, too, so in some circles we are total baby sleep failures) and we never planned to cosleep at all. But there has never once been any point where I thought it was even remotely feasible to lay her down drowsy but awake and let her soothe herself (like, seriously, is that a thing? all the parents who claim to do it successfully, they must all be lying, right?) and this is what works. I just today took a side off our expensive-and-never-used crib and put up the toddler rail so that she can start getting used to the idea of a big-girl bed, but I imagine it’ll be several months at least before she’ll be using it. I do miss having space to sprawl, and spontaneous spousal snuggles, and not being kicked in the gut by little feet in the middle of the night. BUT, in spite of all that, this really is the best way that we all get the most sleep.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think we need to start a Total Baby Sleep Failure club. I will bring the coffee/tea…

      “Drowsy but awake” IS A TOTAL LIE, YES! (And if it works for you, random internet moms who may be reading this, do not tell us. I know you are probably bursting to tell everyone because yes, awesome, but just accept that you got lucky and enjoy your good fortune in serene silence. Because you are well-rested, see, and you have whole realms of self control that I have not seen for over a year now. WHOA.)

      17 months doesn’t seem bad to me, honestly — especially since you guys have been doing it since early on. I was chatting with my cousin a few months ago, when E was going through a bad cycle of broken sleep, and she told me she co-slept with her daughter until her daughter was…seven. I don’t think I responded very tactfully, but then, sleep deprivation will do that!


  2. That’s a L’Engle I haven’t heard of. I’ve read all her fiction of course (even the mega-weird “The Other Side of the Sun”) and the second of her Crosswicks journals (“Summer of the Great-Grandmother”). What’s this one — fiction or non?


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