Update on the Me

What did I do this month, as a living breathing being separate from my baby? If I put it all in bullet points, it will make me feel like I’ve accomplished things.

  • I worked a lot, or as much as one can work when working part-time.
  • I supported my husband during a job interview.
  • I found out we’ll be moving.
  • I gave notice at my job.
  • We contacted a realtor to put our house on the market.
  • I did not eat candy.
  • I screwed up scheduling for at least two separate blog posts.
  • I went for a week on little sleep — when the babes started sleeping again, waking up with a full night of rest made me feel drunk.
  • My parents visited and we painted two living room walls.
  • We took Baby E. to many doctor appointments (and survived).
  • I hired painters to come and finish the paint job. They did a much quicker and more efficient job than I would have.
  • I received my first bill from a will/trusts lawyer. It was ridiculously high. How do you professionally say, “I think I’ll just go the holograph route” ?
  • I wrote almost nothing. (Not counting blog posts)

That last is a source of consternation. I am having trouble (again) finding time to write. It didn’t help that I was wiped out for much of the month, but gad. It’s a whole month gone by! I’ve got so many things started and so many ideas and so little energy and time. I feel like a failure.

This means, I’ve decided, that I should start eating candy again.

 

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One thought on “Update on the Me

  1. That is a lot of accomplishments! Seriously. That’s a lot going on. You rock on with your bad self.

    I wish I had some uplifting words about writing, but I am also, as always, struggling to find the time and energy. Even though I *know* I’ll feel better in the long run if I write even just a paragraph or two at the end of the day, it is so hard to get into that brainspace when I am tired and frazzled, and is so much easier to spend what little time I have clicking around the internet or doing some puttery housework. Every so often, I’ll see essays/comics/etc. where the author says she decided to set aside creative pursuits for the first year or two of her child’s life so that she could focus on motherhood, and I just think, HOW CAN YOU DO THAT AND NOT GO INSANE. It would be so crazymaking for me, especially as a stay-at-home parent with no outside employment, to not have some kind of non-baby outlet. But what’s worse are the people write, ‘It was hard work, but I still managed to write a novel/produce a play/record an album/whatever while my kids were babies,” because I also think HOW CAN YOU DO THAT AND NOT GO INSANE. When do they sleep or fold laundry or buy groceries or spend time with their partner? How is it possible that they have so much time and I feel like I’m always floundering and failing?

    Like

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