A. and Baby E. and I visited family in Minnesota for Christmas break. While we were there, I went to see my great aunt. She’s 98, she lives in an assisted living apartment complex, and while she’s frail and starting to forget some things, she’s still reasonably independent.
She’s one of the last surviving members of her immediate family. She’s not happy to still be alive. She’s not shooting to enter the centenarian club. Instead she prays every night “for God to take her home.”
We were snacking on cheese puffcorn and I asked her if she had any resolutions. “No,” she said. “What’s the point? No one ever keeps them.”
As I revisit my resolutions from last year, I can see that she’s right, of course:
I guess I somewhat managed to raise Baby E. Almost all of my house projects fell by the wayside. We did get a fence in, and I made one backyard garden box. Anything else I managed to do only with the assistance of my parents, to watch the baby or do the project in question.
Work? My job didn’t dry up. It’s going to be here for a while, which is good?
Outdoor recreation was nonexistent, apart from walks with baby. I biked once, and my bike’s handlebars disintegrated into black rubbery mush on my palms. Very hard to get off, even with repeated washings.
Wedding plans? I helped best by staying out of the way. Not the traditional maid-of-honor route. And then the actual wedding coincided with Baby E.’s infantile spasms, so I mostly remember that time period as The Fiery Hellpit of Hellaciousness.
WRITING GOALS? [crickets]
Yeah, no. I completed my editing work. I wrote down a bunch of ideas. I did bang out some of the silly magic novel. But otherwise I did jack. It feels awful. I don’t care that it’s perfectly understandable — it feels like shit.
Because it feels like shit, I am making resolutions again. Maybe I’ll actually do some of them this year.
- Laugh more. Get yourself some comedy, woman. Watch, read, and write with an eye to this.
- Work more/focus at work.
- Get outside more. Walk. Hike in the hills. Go to more movies. These will likely be solo trips, like Star Wars.
- Banking: get the mortgage PMI sorted, and open a savings account for Baby E.
- Baby E.: keep working on physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy with Baby E. Remember those helpful words from your favorite aunt. Contact the respite people and set up a babysitter meeting.
- House projects: laundry sink setup, painting on the main floor, fans in bathrooms.
- Get back into crochet.
- Bake more bread.
- Write every day
- Journal once a week
- Finish stories
- Finish novel
- Blog twice a week
That’s all I got for now. Maybe these are useless. Or maybe I’m only resolving to do the bare minimum. I would be happy to achieve a bare minimum of anything.