Adventures in Exhaustion

Baby E. will not sleep more than four hours at night. Four hours is not bad, you say! Ah, but these four sleepy hours are followed by four more of wakefulness, so the [best possible] night goes:

9 pm – 1 am: Sleep

1 am – 5 am: WAKEY WAKEY WAKEY

PLAY PLAY PLAY LET’S STAND LET’S SIT LET’S JUMP AROUND

EAT EAT EAT EAT

NO I’M NOT HUNGRY

GET THIS FOOD OUT OF MY FACE

OW MY TEETH

NO I DON’T WANT A TEETHER

NO I DON’T WANT A COLD WASHCLOTH

HEY YOUR SHOULDER MEAT IS THE PERFECT CONSISTENCY FOR TOOTH RELIEF NOM NOM NOM [BITE]

GIVE ME BACK THE SHOULDER

FUCK YOU MOM WHERE’S DAD

FUCK YOU DAD WHERE’S MOM

WHY ARE YOU CRYING, YOU ARE AN ADULT

I HAAAAAAAAATE EVERYTHING

5:05 am: Sleep

5:06 am: [dog tags jingle as dog shakes after rising]

5:06 am: WAKEY WAKEY WAKEY etc., et al., et whatever the Latin is for “the mom will now pull off her face and scream in the corner.”

Sleep training will be happening. That is, if we can figure out how to do it with a brain-damaged kiddo. The forums I’ve been following do not inspire hope, though. Most people with PVL/seizure-ridden kids say that if they’re gonna sleep through the night, they’ll just do it one day, regardless of how hard you try to sleep train. I don’t want to make Baby E. think we’re just torturing him. But I want him to be able to soothe himself, if he can. Who knows what he can do if I don’t give him space to try?

Plus it would be nice to do a day on more than five-six hours of broken sleep. I could try to handle a crochet hook again. Right now I’m skeptical of my ability to do so without stabbing myself in a soft place.

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2 thoughts on “Adventures in Exhaustion

  1. The only thing I can think to suggest is taking the collar off the dog so it doesn’t jingle. In the grand scheme of things, not much help :( Maybe you can train baby E. to chew on the dog? He could be like Mowgl, raised by wolves…

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    1. Yannow, I think I saw an invention for this, it was a soft muffling sack that you can put around the tags. Probably very easy to sew, when I can trust myself again around my sewing machine!

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