Ain’t no baby like a Midwest baby

Saw the following meme/quiz on FB this week, and although Baby E. is not old enough to be questioned or give comprehensible answers, I think I can helicopter-parent my way through his presumed responses. Enjoy!

WITHOUT ANY prompting, ask your child these questions and write down EXACTLY what they say. It is a great way to find out what they really think. Copy a blank version in your comments section for your friends to re-post.

Child’s age: 4 months, 2 weeks (adjusted!)

1. What is something mom always says to you? GO TO SLEEEEEEP GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEP MY GOD WHY WON’T YOU GO TO SLEEEEEEP

2. What makes mom happy? when I sleep

3. What makes mom sad? when I do not sleep and just cry

4. How does your mom make you laugh? speaking Spanish. Speaking (very limited) French and German (think “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)” and “Sprechen sie Deutsch?”) Talking about kisses for the baby. Talking about what kinds of “animales” are in the house. Tickles and “chin-choppers.”

5. What was your mom like as a child? I don’t care, feed me or change my butt now please.

6. How old is your mom? ANCIENT. AGELESS. BIG.

7. How tall is your mom? C.F. BIG

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Hold me, obviously. Wiping my butt comes in a close second.

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around? Folds herself up and puts herself in a drawer for when I come back.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Baby holding!

11. What is your mom really good at? Baby holding! Making up songs for me.

12. What is your mom not very good at? Picking me up quickly enough. Feeding me quickly enough. Changing my butt quickly enough.

13. What does your mom do for a job? I don’t know. Baby holding? Crying.

14.What is your mom’s favorite food? Milk.

15.What makes you proud of your mom? When she remembers the words to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

16. If your mom were a character, who would she be? The old lady whispering “hush.” Or maybe the bowl full of mush.

17. What do you and your mom do together? Cry.

18. How are you and your mom the same? We both have short hair.

19. How are you and your mom different? Worldwide domination.

20. How do you know your mom loves you? What is there to know? Why wouldn’t she? I’m so wonderful!

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? This one time when I was crying he came and took me away, the jerk. I don’t know why she likes that so much.

22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go? Work. Weird, huh?

23. How old was your Mom when you were born? ANCIENT. AGELESS. BIG.



2 thoughts on “Ain’t no baby like a Midwest baby

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