Excuse me. But you don’t know what you’re talking about.

I have learned that my website SEO is severely lacking.

Ahem.

In other news, here’s how my third trimester is going so far:

—  Heartburn. Heeeaaarrrrrtburn. Tums, you are my best friend.

—  Every time I burp, I feel dangerously close to upchucking. Only a little bit, though, in my mouth. Yum! I think it’s somehow related to the heartburn.

—  So tired. 7 p.m. hits and I’m ready to fall into bed. This drives me bonkers, especially since it’s November (Nano time!) and it’s also getting dark earlier, so I feel more tired in general.

It really is a rehash of the first trimester, with bonus upchuck feelings. (Delightfully, I did not get sick during the first trimester. Yeah, hate on, all y’all. I’ll take what small favors I can get. I also gained about 1 pound and was in bed at 6:30ish p.m. most of the time, so it’s not like I was living the good life or eating stacks of every kind of food that sickens pregnant ladies.)  Also, the dog is getting clingy. Can’t tell if that’s a baby thing or a cold weather/winter thing.

Some new things:

—  Lots of kicks. I love the baby kicks still. I hear they get more uncomfortable as the space runs out, and I do have moments where it feels like the babe is kicking me directly in the crotch or butt, but I still love it. I’m not really doing kick counts because I’m still mostly noticing whenever it happens.

—  My belly button is still right-side-in. On the plus side, when I laugh, it jabs up and out in a pointy cone. Like the baby’s wearing a Tin Man cap? Or an upside-down funnel?

—  My parents visited and brought an avalanche of baby stuff, both used and new. My sister knitted me a gorgeous baby blanket. And weirdest of all, our sweet next-door neighbor invited us over to give us baby stuff she had on hand from her grandchildren: a bassinet, a play yard, a bottle sterilizer, etc. I’m somewhat verklempt, and I really need to start tracking this. So far I’ve only written one thank-you.

—  I passed my glucose test, or as folks on some baby forums like to call it, the “GD test,” which always makes me think of David Sedaris’ dad and his inability to curse. Got the Rh-negative shot, right in the patoot, and the Tdap/Dtap/whatever the proper acronym is. Also the latest ultrasound (a redo) showed that baby has slowed down to normal, on-schedule growth sizes, so I’m a little less freaked about having a nine-pounder.

—  We’re reconsidering our Xmas travel plans. Or rather, I’m reconsidering, and A. is reiterating his original stance, which was and is “Maybe 36 weeks isn’t such a great time to be driving twelve hours and staying away from our chosen doctor/hospital.” I’m a big person. I can admit when I’m wrong. Maybe. We’ll see.

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