My passive aggression, man.

Can we talk about the love, hate, and general mockery the Internet has for passive aggressive notes? And showcasing such notes on dedicated websites? I mean, as a blogger, obviously I come down on the love side of things because sometimes a blog (THIS blog, perhaps?) seems like one loooooooong multitopical passive aggressive bitchfest. I love and mock them, too, I admit. I occasionally check in at Passive Aggressive Notes, or chuckle at something similar in my twitter stream/fb feed. But I take except at the general consensus behind amusement at these notes, which seems to be hahaha, look at these uptight people who can’t confront shit in person.

Barring the varying comfort modes people have for confrontation, my response to this is the following (always in all caps, to smoosh out as much peripheral passivity as I can):

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL THE NEXT ASSHOLE WHO BLOWS UP THEIR WILD BERRY PUDDING OR CHICKEN POT PIE IN THE WORK MICROWAVE THAT THIS BEHAVIOR WILL NOT STAND? SET UP A VIDEO CAMERA? STAKE THAT NASTYASS MICROWAVE OUT OVERNIGHT? FINGERPRINTING?

I have seriously had more than enough of that asshole. Though it is probably multiple assholes, working in tandem with their asshole dinners and their inability to go get paper towels and clean up that shit like an adult — like me! The adult who works in the morning and is trying to warm up my tea water, god damn it — who remembers other people will likely be using this device. I have not yet left a note. I’m actually more a fan of the video option. The most passive of passive responses would be to move the microwave behind the counter, or put a lock on it. With a note on top explaining why to all asshole future would-be microwavers.

Gee, it only takes one morning of putting my mug into a gelid puddle of chicken fat to get me passive-aggressively riled up on the bloggy front. **Note, I will continue to read and laugh at passive aggressive stuff.

 

In other news, I am ridiculously excited whenever the baby moves. Dance, little alien, dance!

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