Writers do it anyway you want it, that’s the way you need it, any way you want it DAANAA DADAA NAANAAAAAA

The subject of this entry mostly grew out of my self-awareness that as a writer, I’ve been doing it every day. The natural progression from that inspiring thought was, hey, writers fit into just about any innuendo category, don’t they? Writers do it standing up, sitting down, lying down, from front to back, from back to front, or starting in the middle. Writers do it whenever they can. Writers do it by the book. Writers do it by the rules, except when writers do it however they want. And my brain feels mushy after typing all that. The point is, if you wanted to Co-Ed Nakedify writers, you’d have to start a new subline of t-shirts.

In other writing news, I got my second rejection for IT, aka the Bloated Novel That Sat on a Dias and Mind-Controlled Everyone. (With apologies to Madeleine L’Engle, who probably–hopefully–has written eloquently about her own rejections, which I will be seeking immediately after finishing this half-assed blog post.) I stared at the email for a while and then I spent a few hours high-kicking like Ann Reinking to get my feelings out.

Only uncoordinatedly and without the incredible boots. Take away those and what’s left, you might ask? My GODDAMN TAILS, GODDAMN IT. Also I haven’t yet managed to knee myself in the face, so I’m calling it a win.

(Photograph by Jack Mitchell. Source.)

After my high-kicking session, I thought about the normal emo-y things you think about when you (or I, rather) get rejections. Do I want to do this? Am I a writer? Do I suck? Should I stop?* And then I drank more tea and realized that it was pretty pathetic to react to a total of Two, Count ‘Em, Two rejections in such a dramatic way.  And then I also realized that attempting to high-kick like a dance superstar might result in more dramatic thoughts than is my wont.

And then I sat down at my desk and opened up the thing I’d been working on lately, and I got back to writing.

(Or: maybe I finished my shift at work, went home, ate dinner, laughed at bad television with A. while we ate, walked the dog, took a shower, did the dishes, went to bed, got up too goddamn early, and then did all that other inspiring stuff. Interspersed with high-kicks. Just to note reality. The end.)

*Yes/no, yes, probably but that’s not the point, yes/no.


4 thoughts on “Writers do it anyway you want it, that’s the way you need it, any way you want it DAANAA DADAA NAANAAAAAA

  1. I have now sent out four queries to agents and have received four rejections. I spent about a week and four-five drafts rewriting my query letter from scratch and finally got something that I hope is better, but I haven’t sent it out yet. But obsessing about the query has got me a little too twitchy for regular writing with my new project, because i feel like every single word has to be sparkling and has to Hook The Reader and also reference larger themes and reoccurring motifs, etc etc etc. It’s tough going from the nitpicky perfection of a query letter to the sprawling brain-dump of a first draft.


    1. God, yes. Or when each short story idea shakes out into a novella, and then into a novel. Brains need a handy creativity reset button. ETA: Or something that switches off the SELL SELL impulse needed to condense a whole book into a pitch.

      Also: fuckin’ queries. (Fuckin’ submissions, for that matter.) Way to go on sending out so many–I hope you hear something positive soon. And I hope to hear more from you about how the process indeed forges a solid steel helm and breastplate to deflect the strike of rejection.


  2. The first three rejections I was able to shrug off pretty easily. The agents I sent them to were all perfectly nice, I’m sure, but they were also kinda out of my league and I was basically expecting rejections from them. The fourth agent I queried seemed much more accessible and like she’d be fun to work with… and she was the one that sent me a form rejection that opened with “Dear author.” (At least the other three copied in my name.) That stung a little. You always hear that rejection is part of the game and that you should expect to be rejected again and again and again before somebody says yes, but I was secretly hoping that wouldn’t really apply to me. But I’ll probably jump back in to querying again this week.


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