Baaaad Internet Ads

Each day as we browse our merry way around the Internet, we’re bombarded with terrible ads. They run the gamut from awkward to off-putting to just plain unsightly. It’s as if once upon a time, the Chief of the Super Secret Cabal of Internet Advertisers said, No World Wide Web user will look at our ad unless it’s bizarrely hideous enough to distract them from their intended World Wide Weblogs. And thus came the rains of fire, and blood, and the women stripping the plastic wrap of old age from their faces.

Warning: some of these images will make you sad or disgusted, and I would advise against eating any kind of hard crusty cheese until a good half hour after reading. With that in mind, let’s get started!

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So after clicking Twitter’s Follow button for Faith Erin Hicks (who is a fantastic artist and comics creator and if you’re not reading her you should be), I was treated to the above advertisement. Apparently my following-combination of Hicks, Rainbow Rowell, Stephen Fry, and Kate Beaton simply begged for a good Dreft push. Three women and a gay man. Dreft, shut up.


internet you suck

Why in the god’s honest fuck would anyone EVER want to SEE this? If my own toenails were this fungified (that is not an admission) (or maybe it is) (leave me alone), I would certainly get enough Fung-O-Vision each evening when I stripped off my socks and dove in with the clippers and the swabs and the tolnaftate cream. Maybe an argument can be made that this ad educates people who are unaware of their toenail fungus, but as the primary goal is no doubt to sell some snake-oily substitute for a doctor’s visit or OTC treatment, I think the overall education value of this ad is minor.

internet you suck_2

Okay, this one’s just desperate clickbait. Honestly? The SEVENTEEN hottest women! Because they’re ALL hot, everyone on that show is hot, even Brienne is played by a hot lady, because it’s TV.

And my final submission for this post:

Screen Shot 2014-01-15 at 7.51.46 PM

Why this was recommended for me, I’ll never know. I guess my IP address and public location info scream “Chubby White Baby Boomer.”

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6 thoughts on “Baaaad Internet Ads

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