FIST PUMP

Got the c-scope results back from my gastro. She called me at work and I knew immediately it was her: she’s got the worst phone voice ever. It’s very breathy in a non-sexy way, and full of monotonous, ominous portent. I don’t know how she does it, but she could definitely do In The Year 2000 and it’d be SCARY, not funny.

Anyhoo. She called to tell me I am cancer-free and pre-cancer-free and whatever comes before pre-cancer, I’m free of it. Also, the ulcers on my ascending colon have completely disappeared and the rest of it has calmed down to “mild, chronic, inactive ulcerative colitis.” So that’s a big ol’ yay, I think. Cue the Mini eggs celebration!

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