The fine art of pureed food.

So, while I’m interested in trying all sorts of new foods when my colon isn’t exploding into bloody sparkling runnels, I’ve never been too excited about food designed to masquerade as other food. Such as the beef sundae from the Iowa state fair, to name one.* I think I’m just biased toward sweets. Those mashed potatoes served in daiquiri glasses with ketchup and gravy for “strawberry” and “chocolate” sauces? SNEAKY. I’d totally fall for that with my mouth all ready for ice cream. Really, this is more about me being a big baby, which I find I’m really good at after a nice raging flare-up.

Pureed food can be sneaky, too. Granted, it looks like glop (usually unappetizing glop) so there’s not too much it can pass for when attempting to fool unsuspecting sweet eaters. Ice cream? Sherbet? Gelato? Taffy? Random state fair candy goo? In any case, it’s like baby food. I’m not a big fan of baby food, either.** But what the crybaby colon wants, the crybaby colon gets. It takes a little more time to boil veggies and pulverize them to goop in a food processor, but I am good to my crybaby.

I chose a nice healthy mix of carrots, garlic and red potatoes. The carrots are from our local farmer’s market, and they’re the sweetest ones I’ve ever tasted.

I peeled and chopped up everything nice and small.

Then I boiled everything until it was nice and soft, about thirty minutes. I threw it in the food processor with some chunks of butter, salt, a little half and half, and a little milk, and got THIS:


The problem with all my glooping and glopping and food snobbery? It tasted delicious and it was incredibly easy on the gut. It heats up easily for taking to work. It also was very soothing after a long day at work to chop the everloving hell out of something without that pesky felony possibility.

I’m making more right now, except this time I’ve added a parsnip. It smells awesome.

* Although right now, with all the denial going on, I’m willing to shut up and try it. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

** Oh, you’re so surprised, since I’m such a big baby? SHUT UP.


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