The flare is definitely not going away. I called the doctor, who chastised me through her nurse for forgetting my appointment, and then prescribed a month’s worth of Rowasa. (After clicking, scroll down for the amusing how-to pictures. I didn’t know you were supposed to take your clothes off first.)
Anyway, yippee! If there’s one thing I’ve missed these last three years, it’s the good ol’ mesalamine enema. Yay! But there really is no one way to describe my feelings on the subject, so I’ll emulate Steve Martin, except I’ll let Youtube do it better.
During this flare, I’ve noticed that as the cramping and pain begins, I simultaneously feel a huge sweeping wave of relaxing weariness – like I’m about to pass out, except (hopefully. Jesus.) without the oxygen loss. It’s both relaxing and creepy. Is this mind over matter at work? I’ve used a little sing-songy “Relax relax relax dumbass relax” in the past to chill out, so I guess it’s possible that my body has been coerced into thinking gut cramps equal meditation time.
Time to go to the bathroom again.