You can just eat expired yogurt for all I care

Expired dairy products: threat to stomach linings everywhere or one more example of product marketing’s all-inclusive goal to control our thoughts, souls, and seldom-lauded ability to use our sense of smell?

I think we can all agree on the answer to this one.

Today was my final day of probation. I am now a full-time, permanent employee in a library that allows me to stay out of public view all day. Whether it’s a dream job or penal servitude I probably already should’ve decided; right now I’m still too busy hovering above crocodiles in Fort Lauderdale wearing yellow spangles and a popsicle to notice the shackles. Health insurance gilds everything!

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